So.
I'm black, as you may or may not know. African-American, to be specific and lately, I've been feeling particular. I've been, as one might say, "Blacking it Up" (no, seriously Blacking it Up) and it's been... interesting to say the least. I've been picking on things that my friends or others will say regarding my blackness or blackness and general and asking myself "Hey, should I laugh at this, or is this ignorant?"
But what can I say? I'm one of ten black kids in my school and maybe even a part of a smaller minority that actually have this thought process.
I've also been thinking about bi-racial kids, too. A lot of my family is bi-racial, but I'm not. And a lot of my bi-racial family does not have the, what I like to call, black inheritance. Black inheritance is when people look at you, see that you're black, and immediately subconsciously associate bad traits with you. I'm not sure how true this is. You see, I've only come into my inheritance recently, or discovered it, rather, and I don't always have the words to describe it. My cousins who are poorer on my father's side are bi-racial and have black inheritance, but my uncle on my mom's side who is richer, does not. I think he's aware of the possibility of coming into his inheritance if he loses his money or does anything that might make him seem "black", but he is not visibly effected by it.
This is also why I have trouble making friends with bi-racial kids my age. They don't get it. They can do things white people can do with the beauty and grace of being black. It sucks, a lot. The biggest problem I have at my high school with being black is that I'm ignored. I talk to my black friends because they notice that I'm black too and we form a small cliche clique like the rest of the school does. But I don't see them that often, so the rest of the time when I'm in orchestra and everyone is talking to their own, I have to sit by myself or forcefully, awkwardly, and painfully self-aware insert myself into other peoples' conversation. They think I'm okay talking to the nine other people who will at any given point in time will initiate conversation with me or accept my invite for social interaction whenever I happen to see them when they can talk with the 97% of other white kids at my school all the time. This is some goddamn BS. Teenagers are social assholes.
Sometimes I hate being black and that perhaps ignorance is bliss. But then I realize I have the power to change it. To open peoples' eyes and hope that they spread the word that I, by some wildly improbable chance, might like to have a nice conversation with a white person my age. Maybe even be their friend. No, not their "token black" friend. A genuine Shawn & Gus, JD & Turk, bromance with lady-bits, friend.
I'm also really curious if latino people speaking spanish is in anyway similar to black people saying nigga.... It's one of those times where if it doesn't involve you, you've just gotta walk away. I've been watching Breaking Bad and people have not been doing nearly enough walking away.
Breaking Bad is the center of my rage for ign'it-ass upper-middle-class white folk who don't know how to shut the hell up about shit that don't concern them. Turn away pregnant stay-at-home mom. Your life isn't imperfect because your son is handicapped, it's 'cause you're so damn ig'nit!!! I'm only in season 1, folks. Shit just got real.
Side note: Don't get me started on white people adopting black babies.
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